Thanksgiving = Before Christmas

    This world is very very confused. Someone needs to set it straight. I volunteer. IT IS THANKSGIVING SEASON. CHRISTMAS= AFTER NOVEMBER 25. Everyone can go put their christmas decorations and music back into creepy dark closets. We should give thanks before we ask for presents. If the next week is christmas free it would be as good as christmas. Starbucks and Just Friends are the only things that are allowed to be christmassy before thanksgiving. Why? Because a peppermint mocha frappuccino with no whip cream is good anytime. Starbucks just doesn't know that. And nothing is better than Ryan Reynolds' cynicism mixed with a girl who meows and growls. Both are winners.
     Let's talk about a rather unfortunate segment of my existence: life without twitter at my fingertips. Since I'm currently the proud mother of the Motorola Dinosaur Edition (sans camera, sans inbox capacity over 50), I am lacking twitter. However, I have made some conclusions from my time away. It appears that life has slowed down on tweetable events. By tweetable events, I mean things involving cats, witches, pink barbie mustangs, levitating boy in philosophy class, and knitting girl. So thanks, world, for holding off on the finer things in life until I can one day share it with the world. I appreciate it.
     Life right now goes something like this: staring at a chemistry book and realizing that everything I look at will never connect with my brain. Then I get distracted by Chelsea Handler and all of her cleverness. Then, I realize that chemistry would be pointless if I were Chelsea Handler. So I convince myself that it's okay that I don't know chemistry if I want to be the next Chelsea. Then everything is okay in life. Then 30 minutes later Chelsea Lately is over, and my fantasy quickly disappears. Then all I am left with is this chemistry book that talks about spdfnlm. Then I get sad, but I know that in an hour Chelsea will be on again, and I can repeat the process. This is my version of real life.
     Sarah Palin's Alaska. Good stuff. If you let your kid get within 10 feet of fighting grizzly bears, then you are the best mom ever. Nothing else to it. And climbing the highest peak in NORTH AMERICA (Sarah emphasized North America a whole bunch) is just another day. I kinda want to be an Alaskan. Sarah Palin, you keep on being the coolest mom in NORTH AMERICA.